For My Love

Mama:

No hand I'd rather hold
No voice I'd rather hear
No one matters more to me than you

I love you

Happy birthday

Love,

Papa

Summer Heat = Summer Do

I have loved my boys' hair long. But I haven't loved seeing them red-cheeked and sweaty this summer. So, with the onset of true summer heat, they are now sporting a new (yet old) do. I love this cut for different reasons than I love their long hair. Before, they looked like adorable, carefree, little surfer boys. Now, I can see their cherubic little faces again. And buzzes make my kids seem cleaner. Which might very well be true in Bugga's case since he absolutely HATES washing his hair. Now I just have to remember to lather their naked heads in sunscreen henceforth.








I love that Buddha's tongue sticks out when he concentrates.

(Click here to see what Buddha was working so hard on.
I helped him label his masterpiece.)

And here are some bonus shots of the boys "being" Horton:

Sabbath Magic

I love this.



P.S. I know I sound like the meanest, most impatient mom, but you gotta understand that this was the third attempt to catch this accomplishment on video, the other two featuring an extremely goofy Soren Boy who was having difficulty focusing. :P Sound familiar to anyone?

I Want That

I've never had an issue with coveting. Sure, I've appreciated "things" before, but I've never yearned for them or ached for them to the point of feeling physical hurt or jealousy. But, ever since our condo in Utah sold, Dan and I have been looking at homes here in San Diego. I won't lie, it's pretty disheartening. With the housing market tumbled about as it currently is, we can't get a decent enough loan to bring our monthly payments on an acceptable home (translate: not a fixer-upper) into the "affordable" range. Housing prices are supposedly phenomenal right now, but phenomenal still means $460,000 for a three bedroom that needs a lot of TLC. Stretching it, we could possibly afford the $460k, but who on earth would have the extra money needed for the TLC?! So, what do we do? We search in a higher price range, but then, with the addition of property taxes, etc., we can't actually afford what we're looking at.

What it all boils down to is saving more money for a down payment. We thought what we had available would be adequate, but it seems we were wrong.

The worst part about all of this is how it's making me feel. I don't want to be that entitled American who sees what they want and thinks they deserve it no matter if they can afford it or not. I don't want to live paycheck to paycheck and maxed-out credit card to maxed-out credit card. There is no feeling of security and peace having that kind of irresponsible debt. I'm not a brat or a snob. I can live in something less glamorous. I can make do with something smaller. I don't have to "keep up with the Jones's." But I also know that we can't afford to buy a house in awfully poor condition at $460k and then have to come up with more money for renovation. So then I think, we just need to keep saving our money and wait longer. But that's risky because apparently, along with the rest of the country, San Diego home prices are at an all-time low. So if we wait, and save, are the home prices going to be rising right along with our savings, always keeping our ideal way out of reach?

This all makes me so frustrated I just want to scream and shout and cry. But mostly cry. We know we want to live in San Diego. We know we want to live here forever. It's our dream come true to be here now. We LOVE our ward. We LOVE our friends. We LOVE our life here.

So what, pray tell, are we to do? Rent forever?

Disneyland May '09

Yes, still woefully behind . . . .

In May, my family came from Utah and Oregon to experience a mini-vacation in Orange County and San Diego. We managed to attack Disneyland, La Jolla Shores, and Sea World in a matter of three days. It was crazy, yet fun. The only thing that detracted from the near-perfection of the week was the absence of Daniel, aka Unkey Dino, who was off in some super secret location as assigned by his 007 job. :0) Soren and Anders just LOVED playing with their cousins, especially the oldest cousin, Caleb, who is seven this year, I think. They would pal around all day wherever we were and when it finally came time for Caleb to leave with my parents, Soren got emotional. My mom leaned out of the car to take a picture of us on the front lawn waving good-bye to them and Soren looked up at me and said in a choked little voice, "I know why she took that picture of us; it's so that Caleb won't forget me." Our favorite part of the week was the day we spent relaxing and playing at the beach. With that brood of boys, standing in lines at Disneyland and cruising rapidly from show to show at Sea World was very difficult and stressful. But the beach was made for us. No lines, no start times, no "gotta get our money's worth." Just sand, water, buckets and shovels. Time stood still. Wiggles got wiggled out. Salt water was inhaled, waves jumped, castles built, and pictures taken. It was perfect.

I really love my family. They reunited in Utah in June . . . without me . . . and it just about broke my heart. I begged Daniel to keep posting videos of Ari. I've found it absolutely fascinating to realize that I am in love with my nephews. I don't just tolerate them or think them "cute." I LOVE them. It's a phenomenon to me. I like my friends' kids. Some of them I even love, but there is an innate and very real difference in my feelings and attitudes toward my blood relations not in my immediate family. Has anyone else noticed this? It seems a testament to the sacred and powerful nature of the natural family.

Here are some Disneyland pictures to kick off the photo fest that is sure to ensue.


Jude hanging out with his Daddy in the hotel room.



Love those eyes! And he sucks the same fingers his mommy did when she was little!



One of the many faces of Ari. This is his, "I tolerate you" face.



Best friends AND cousins. It doesn't get much better than that. Well, truthfully, it might very well be a simple case of the adoration of one party by another, but . . . that's semantics. :P



This hotel room required a good imagination on the part of the boys. And I think they succeeded in having a good time regardless of the close quarters.





Breakfast at IHOP before tackling Disneyland.


I think they had more fun in the IHOP fountain than at Disneyland. :0)



Yes, that is Soren in an A. It's his tribute to his younger brother, I guess.



The gang.



The beloved Nemo ride. Oh, and here I am reminded of another part of our story I failed to mention! Jarem, being an amputee, qualifies for handicap passage. Now, if you know Jarem, you know that he would never refer to his amputation as a handicap. In fact, he does things that most normal two-legged folk don't do, like telemark ski. But, we women prevailed upon him to act the gimp and allow us to take advantage of the opportunity. You can have no idea what a blessing that was with five little boys in tow. I think we waited all of five, maybe ten, minutes to get into the Nemo ride that is normally a two-hour wait! Thank you, Jarem!



No, we're not just randomly standing around. The boys were enthralled with the Darth Vader story being acted out in the mini-amphitheater in front of them. It was too funny to pass up. Here are all these family members sprawled out in the square, stalk still, with people moving all about them. And I love Anders arms. I think he was marching to the Star Wars theme. (You know you're singing it in your head right now.)



We did have to wait in some lines like the rest of humanity. And this is how the boys entertained themselves. I'm sure it's been done before.



Grandpa was the self-appointed stroller-pusher. He did an excellent job.

Thief

Like a black-clad shadow moving silently through the tomb-like halls of an art history museum, I've gone and burglarized the world wide web. I love this blog so much that I've spent the last two days copying it. Not content, mind you, just html. And I didn't actually copy it (since the blog author has a right-click disabled blog), but, more accurately, I painstakingly recreated it. I love the layout. It may not seem like much, but it's beauty lies in its simplicity. Now, that said, I also love the content. Every time I visit Amy's blog, I feel like I've entered a world that moves in slow motion. Everything seems so calm and serene. I should probably mention that she is also an AMAZING photographer. I love the way she captures life - her perspective. It's as if her camera is a natural extension of her body. I can't imagine what she does with all the pictures she takes. My computer is nearly full and I've got two external hard drives that are rapidly filling up as well. Anyway, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. It's lucky for me that Anders has been sick because it makes hunkering down for an extended stay in front of my computer much easier. The boys have been watching movies all day for two days straight. We're going to be ready for a beach day as soon as Anders' cough settles down!

Here is a bit of eye candy for you.



Our sprinklers have been coming on later than usual. I think Dan changed the time when he changed the frequency. So this particular morning, the boys woke up, dashed outside, and had a grand ol' time getting soaked in the spray.

<--Soren and Anders -->

We have loads of rusted old gardening tools. They get that way from disuse and mistreatment. I leave them out in the rain. :0( But I really, really love the burnt orange color of rust. It's such a rich hue.




He inherited that tongue from his Mama. I think kids keep us young because they delight in simplicity; they turn the most unremarkable circumstances into pure enchantment. I think I'll go for a spontaneous romp in the sprinklers. Toodle-oo.

The Latest Kid Funnies

Soren: "I call Heavenly Father, God, because God has powers."

Soren: "You know what, Mom? Some people eat cactus. You know how I know that? Bobby Flay. Bobby Flay (Food Network) showed that."

Anders in bed crying: "Mommy, I'm scared! There's a monster dreaming about me."

Anders wielding a sword made out of stacked Crayola pens: "No! I'm not your friend! I'm a killing friend!"

Anders: "You won't be scared, Mom. I will KILL the monster . . . with my elbows!"
Soren: "I will get a real gun and shoot the monster."
(When did reality kick in? Only two years separates them and the oldest has already lost his ability to kill monsters with his elbows.)

Adam Lambert

So, way back when (May 8th), Adam Lambert came back to his old stomping grounds as an American Idol finalist. It just so happens that his stomping grounds (MCHS) are situated one street away from our house. I didn't care so much about going, but after it got started, the boys could hear all the fuss from our backyard and they really wanted to check it out. I grabbed my 18-200mm lens for some paparazzi practice and hauled the three boys (we had a friend's son with us) down the hill in our creaky cargo stroller.

It really wasn't spectacular. It was hot and crowded and Adam took his dear, sweet time arriving. Then, after taking forever to get there, he rode a lap around the track doing the "royalty wave," sang two songs, and took off. That was it. I feel badly for the people who were hoping for some big concert or something. And I was grateful that I wouldn't have to fight traffic to get home, just a beastly hill made all the more daunting by my three-kid baggage.

To sum it all up: Good exercise, depressingly hot, pathetic performance, fun photography practice.

That's it.

Easter

Yes. You read that right. That is how far behind I am in our journal keeping / photo uploading. Bummer, huh? But, like I always say, "Better late than never." :0)

Easter was fun this year. We never do anything big. I like celebrating holidays, but I'm not one to go overboard with planning and decorations. My poor kids. :( We hid a few eggs around the house then watched as the kids slobbered and drooled their way through humongous chocolate treats. Then, of course, we headed to the bathtub. Yes, the bathtub. It makes egg dying so easy. Strip down the kids, plop them in the tub with the dyes, and let them go to town. They had a grand 'ol time coloring eggs with crayons then jamming them into the various dyes. Needless to say, we lost a few eggs to their somewhat aggressive approach to egg dying.

If I Never Try, I'll Never Know.

So, you may have noticed a picture of a funky-looking bike in my sidebar. Well, they are giving away two of these free. In July. On my very birthday (July 15th). I just found out about this bike and about this giveaway on my friend, Megan's, blog. Because I clicked on her cool picture (you owe me a click, Megan). :0) Just kidding. So, I cruised around the site and thought the concept was cool, but now I just want one to see if it would really work with two little busy toddlers, unbuckling seat belts and careening from side to side in that big tub, knocking me off balance as I wobble down the street.

Can't you just see me now, covered with road rash and gravel, scolding my wiggly boys?

If you can imagine it, don't click the picture.

If you have faith in the concept and construction, click away. :0)

P.S. If I win, you can be my first passenger, Megan.

A Father's Day Plea

This took me a long time to make. Mostly because I took all but two of the pictures featured. Some of the quality left the images when it was uploaded to YouTube and I found out too late that I misspelled the German version of father, but besides that, I think it turned out fairly well. I'm an extreme perfectionist, so it's a relief to wash my hands and put away the tools at the end of any particular project.

Go tell your dad you love him. Go visit your father's grave. Go be a better dad and know that there are many in the world who still believe in, and fight for, your relevance and necessity in every child's life.

Fathers deserve an eternity of honor and admiration, not just a day.

Death by Wanting

Soren: "You're not nice, Mommy!"

Me: "Mommy is so nice."

Soren: "No she's not."

Me: "Mommy is awesome."

Soren: "No you're not . . . because you don't give me whatever I want!"

Me: "Oh ho!  The sooner you resolve yourself to that little fact of life, the better.  :0)  Mommy is so wonderful."

Soren: "No she's not!  You're not ever going to be wonderful because you don't give me whatever I want!"

;0)

"Evil" Mommy's musings after this episode:

Setting clear boundaries for ourselves and our children is a practice that can and should be implemented and promoted all the way up the social and political ladder.  Boundaries are key. The functioning of our greater society would do well to model itself after the functioning and governance of the singular familial unit which exercises discipline, respect, and boundary maintenance on a daily basis . . . even in the face of threats, intimidation, and declarations of offense and supposed "unloveability."

Teaching by Example

It's scary just how much Soren and I are alike.  Take this morning, for instance; I had just herded the kids into the car for a quick trip to the store to get milk for breakfast.  I dutifully buckled them up, then wandered around the back of the car to make sure our little sand buckets weren't going to get crunched while reversing.  As I hurled myself into the driver's seat and commenced the usual seat and mirror adjustments, Soren sheepishly piped up from the back with, "Um, Mommy?  Can you buckle me up?"  "What," said I?  "I already buckled you in, what happened?" Soren's classic mommy-brain reply came quietly and with a tiny, embarrassed smile, "Um, I thought we already got our groceries and came back home."

He has officially joined the ranks of braincell-deprived (and sleep-deprived) women who return the gallon of milk not to the fridge, but to the cupboard.  Women who put the dishes away in the microwave instead of the china cabinet.  Women who frantically ransack their homes in search of the spectacles perched on their heads.  Women who purchase their groceries then resolutely march out of the store without them.  Women who unintentionally yet regularly misplace, rearrange, and redistribute all the moving parts in their lives (whether that's kids, milk, or dishes), in frequent moments of absent-minded survival mode.

Gotta get Dan home early tonight so he can do some damage control on Soren's new mommy brain.

Hm.  I wonder how one would accurately describe the "daddy brain?"

Pee and Toothbrushes . . .

. . . two words that should never be part of the same sentence.  Unfortunately for Anders tonight, they were.  As Dan and I obliviously watched the American Idol finale, our rapscallion boys apparently snuck out of bed and off to the master bathroom to "do their worst."  Once their disobedience was discovered by my expert reconnaissance, Dan and I strategized and conspired to jump from the shadows and startle our kids, thus making them never want to leave their beds again.  Upon execution of our brilliant plan (which very nearly caused Soren to experience a mild myocardial infarction), their worst, their most dastardly deed, was revealed.  Anders - sweet, innocent, kissable Anders - was tagging along behind Soren, contentedly munching on a spare toothbrush that I had, just today, used to fervently scour Soren's generous pee-pee accident from my flip-flops.

Ew.

Misconceptions About Homeschoolers

This was too funny to not share!

By the way, if you're interested in learning more about homeschooling, I've added a whole heap of links in my bottom sidebar for browsing. Most of them I've only given a cursory glance, but I want to come back to them later so I've included them anyway.  There are links for parent resources and then more links to kids' sites for free educational games, activities, crafts, print-outs, and lessons.

All Alone

So here I am. Home alone. The boys have gone camping with their daddy for the ward father/son camp out. This is the first time they've ever been away from me for a night. It's odd. I don't think I like it.

I've been sitting at this computer since they drove out of the garage swaddled by an orange-glow sunset. It's like I'm here clinging to a familiar friend so that I don't have to acknowledge my empty (dirty) house.

Granted, I am accomplishing something quite necessary on the computer. It's not all Shootsacs and Facebook. But I think it might just truly be time to tuck the keyboard away for the night and take up with my novel friends Sparhawk and Sephrenia again.

See. There I go from one place of comfort to the other.

I might be just a wee bit delirious right now.  Yes.  Most definitely.

Oh, and let's not forget to mention that I'm so stressed out about taking wedding pictures tomorrow (today) that my hands - which have been relatively eczema free for the last few months - have literally exploded in tiny blisters and itchiness. And I'm not even the primary photographer! I hate eczema. I hate being stressed.

I'm tired.

My eyes feel like sandpaper.

My shoulders hurt from slouching over the keyboard.

My dirty house didn't get any cleaner tonight as was my plan.

I miss my family.

I need to stop saying "I" and "my."  I sound conceited.

Just Gotta Write

Sometimes, even though I have nothing very nifty to say, I just have to write. Yup.  That's it. Just gotta do it.  Tonight, right now, is one of those times.  I itch to write.  Sure enough!  It's true. It's as clear as the tiny pointer finger smudge on my right focal lens.  I'm in the grip of a higher power.  Though my muse may abandon me, the juice is flowing.  Flowing.  Flowing. Streaming. Trickling. Petering out.  And . . . without saying so much as one brilliant thing, I've managed to come up with absolutely nothing to write about.  Hm.  Houston, we have a problem. Or, as Anders would say, "Houston, I have a probrom."



So, I guess I'll tell you about Church on Sunday.  Lately, Sacrament Meeting is a recurring source of amusement for the Bagel family.  This last Sunday was no exception.  In fact, if you were sitting behind or in front of us, you likely heard a few things you never thought you'd hear at Church.  Then again, perhaps I was able to clasp my hand over Anders' mouth before the worst was revealed. Nevertheless, our near-shame experience left Dan huddled in the corner of our pew, doubled over with silent laughter while I blushed a shade of red you "never did saw, darlin'!"

You see, Anders has this somewhat inconvenient body quirk that tends to plague him at the worst possible moments in his blessed little life.  In short, he often experiences discomfort originating in his groin area.  If you have little boys, you know what I'm talking about.  Only, with Soren the occurrence was never as frequent as it is with Anders.  Anyway, because we are very unabashed in our discussion of body parts, Anders is no stranger to the technical term alluding to his manhood.  So on Sunday, at exactly the wrong and perfectly mortifying moment just as the deacons are passing the sacrament, Anders begins to squirm and, HORROR, tug at the crotch of his khakis.  Quick as Obama can spend $3.27 trillion, my hand began to move.  And Anders began to speak.  "Mommy, you're hurting my (Mommy's hand over the mouth)." "Mommy! You're hurting my (mumble, mumble, mumble)." Squirm, squirm, "MOMMY!  You're hurting my (mumble, mumble, mumble - my hand is getting slobbery)."  And so it went on, for too long, with Dan shaking the bench in mirth and me ducking my head in the agony of embarrassment and humor even while wrestling the verbose little beast into silent submission.

For the record, I am innocent.  While Anders kept trying to blame me for his "discomfort," in truth, I had been minding my own business, holding my son on my lap, trying to listen to the talk being shared.  Nay, I will not be thy scapegoat, good buddy!

The second outburst actually happened before the first if I'm being chronologically honest here. As the deacons passed the bread, I took the opportunity to have a whispered conversation with Anders about the sacred nature of the sacrament.  I quietly reminded him that the bread signifies Jesus' body.  He stared at me.  And then I told him that the water reminds us of Jesus' blood.  He perked up.  And in a perfectly petulant and conveniently amplified voice, he declared, "JESUS' BLOOD??!!"  I giggled.  I'm sorry.  I couldn't help it.  And I watched my friend's back (sitting in front of us), suddenly hunch forward, shoulders shaking.  And all this while Anders looks around with an impish little grin on his face.  He knows when he's been funny, the stinker.

Ah, never a dull moment at Church with the Bagels.  And now, having satisfied the demands of my writing lust, I feel free to say good night.  I recognize that I've still failed to leave you with anything brilliant, but at least I hope you let a chuckle or two slip before you reached the bottom of this poor attempt at blogging I've posted today.

Tea Party at the SD Harbor!

Today our entire family headed downtown to show our support for the 2009 Tea Party Tax Revolts – a nonpartisan movement calling for fiscal responsibility in our government. I had a great time wandering through the people, snapping pictures and making friends. I left Dan with the boys and I don’t think he had a very positive experience since Anders was being a pill the entire time (growth spurt, maybe?). At any rate, I came back to a harried husband who quickly reported the evil doings of our two-year-old who had tried to make an art project out of the huge Constitution banner that everyone was signing. Oh joy.

Here are my favorite images from the event. Following these, there is a slideshow with more.

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