I just got kicked out of the public library ... sort of.
I'm so upset that I'm crying. I hate that about myself. I cry when I'm angry - when I've been privy to an injustice.
Bugga and Buddha were happily playing in the kid area. I knew that Bugga would put up a fight if I tried to tear him away in order to find my books. So, I asked the lady if Bugga could walk around with the two trucks he was playing with, just while I found my books. Enter power trip. Of course he can't. It's best if the toys stay in the kid corner. Alright, I thought to myself, she asked for it. So I took them away and Bugga set into his best impression of a banshee. I just walked away, trailing the distraught child behind me and ignoring all the furtive glances from library patrons as I set off to find my books. I hoped that lady was proud of herself. Bugga calmed down when he found some stairs to climb. And then he started right up again when he happened to fall down the stairs. Nice. I hauled him to the computers to do a search for my stupid books that I was now really frustrated with (why weren't they where they were supposed to be???). Bugga kicked it up a notch when I wouldn't let him work the mouse. Enter destroying angels. "Excuse me ma'am. Can we help you find something because you really need to quiet him down?" Was that last part absolutely necessary? Did she think I was deaf? Did it occur to her that maybe those two trucks back in the kid corner would have done the trick nicely, but that her compatriot had already denied him that simple solution? Then I lost it right along with Bugga. I told the lady I was going home, set my books (lucky finds) next to the computer and fled/stalked (flalked) right out the door. I was angry and mortified. I was that woman with those kids. You know the ones? The unruly, uncontrollable kids that people look at and think "Where did their parents go wrong?" To that last I answer only this: "Apparently I went wrong in thinking that children would be welcome in a public library and that the atmosphere would be nurturing rather than severe." I was definitely wrong.
Incidentally, Buddha was quite the angel through it all. He took his trucks back when I asked him to and he was calm and quiet and obedient. I must be doing something right.
13 comments:
bummer. just so you know, I am THAT mom quite often. Especially since having the third kid. Solution? There is none. All of us are THAT mom every now and then. I am getting better at seeing when my kids are not going to do well in a situation, and depending how patient I am feeling, I sometimes go for and sometimes turn around and go home. I am usually embarassed for about ten seconds, then I realize that it happens to everyone except the perfect freaks of nature who I run into at Walmart and are dressed and made up with not a hair out of place at 8am! And their kids are sitting quietly in the cart, dressed and hair done too! How does that happen? I am really not sure. But I am convinced that that is not normal!
You are hilarious. I am sure the library employees you encountered today have children of their own and it is unfortunate that they have forgotten what it is like to have a rough patch in your day. No worries. I say you march back in there next week with your head held high!
So, I have had similar experiences in the library. When Dane was about 2 he ran up and down the aisles screaming. I swore I would never take my kids to the library. Brice is even worse. They really don't care about the books...just the new places to hide or use as an obstacle course. On the rare occasion that they do enter the library it is only to go to the hold shelf to pick out the books that I selected online (they find them and hold them for me). I know some of the libraries in San Diego do the same thing.
sorry about the rotten trip. Next time just take the trucks without asking. That's what I would do. :) Of course I'm a big rule breaker and a rebel of sorts so even though the computers have big signs on them that say "please don't let your children play with the computers" I still do. :)
You crack me up Liz! I'm sorry it was such an awful experience ... Maybe one day you can look back on it and laugh! :) I'm right there with you though. Katelyn decided to hit her "terrible twos" about 6 months early, at the exact time I'm trying to figure out how to do 3 kids! It's insane! I'm a big fan of the hold shelves at the library! :)
The only time I ever thought of a mom as having a child that she couldn't control and how she was doing everything wrong and I was going to do everything right. . .was before I had kids. Now I just think, poor lady. She must be embarrassed and frazzled and rushed.
I was at lunch with a friend and we were having some great conversation and sitting in a booth next to another two old ladies who were also having lunch. apparently ava kept getting too close to the old ladies because i finally noticed that all their dirty looks were actually directed at me on behalf of my daughter who wanted to look out the window next to them. So i said to ava (loudly), "sweetheart, you need to sit next to me because those grandmas over there have forgotten what it's like to have small children."
So liz, i'm glad you told that lady off! She deserved it! And good luck next time.
And to Laurie, the only time my hair is not out of place is at 8 AM.
Also, I agree with leann.
That is all.
What a day! Liz you are not alone. When I see a Mom with crying kids I want to help. I can relate because my kids do the same thing. Halle is just beginning to throw tantrums. Sometimes I don't even know what they are about. I was out shopping with all three kids trying to get errands done. Parker tipped over the stroller with Halle in it. Halle was screaming at the top of her lungs because she had enough shopping. I really feel your pain.
I love this story.
My hats off to any mom today who goes to the public library..
I swear none of my kindergarten children even know what a public library is...
So my question, Liz is... Will you take them?
I would rather see a little chaos in the library than not seeing kids have the opportunity to go at all!!!!!
Sorry this is my 2nd week back at school ...I am just a little frazzled!!!
B.
I LOVE reading your blog. The post are so descriptive and almost always give me a laugh! The kids are so cute, and so what if they cried in the library, that's what makes them human to cry at the most inopportune time. Kids will be kids, and unfortunately they can't be controlled. That lady was totally out of line! So just go back smiling and you'll be infamous at the library from now on!!! The sunbeam quotes are adorable too, where do kids get this stuff?
Oh what a CRAZY story- we have some library nazis at our library too. The worst of them all is the children's librarian- she is HORRIBLE. You think she would be more flexible when it comes to kids and what they can and do do. I'm so sorry about your story!! Oh and I can't wait to read your Breaking Dawn post- I'm almost there. So far I am FREAKED out and I think it is super WHACKED!!! I'm not liking it so much, but I'm hoping it will get better.
Some people are so focused on their jobs they forget about actually caring about the people they work for...or they just don't care in the first place. If that lady came to me I would have told her that it was the fault of their own staff for not listening to you in the first place. I hate feeling frazzled with my kids in public, and the only thing that makes it worse is intolerant people. The hostess at Tucanos the other day tried to give me problems because my daughter was crying loud while we were waiting to be seated. I didn't respond to her too nicely since we had reservations in the first place to avoid the situation I was in, but their restaurant dropped the ball and couldn't get our seats ready in time. Anyway, I made it clear that she had no right to complain and if anyone had the right to complain it was me, and that if she made any more comments I would talk to her manager. As my voice got louder my husband had to stop me from COMPLETELY ripping her head off, in front of people. (She seated us right away after that though...so even though what I did wasn't the best way to respond, it was definitely effective.) lol. Anyway, I don't blame you for being angry, cause I'm worse than you. Some people have no compassion.
I wouldn't have even asked if he could walk around with the trucks. I would have just let him take them. =)That's how honest I am! Then if they asked me to put them back I would have said, trust me, we'll put them away when we leave, if I take them now he'll fly into a tantrum and neither of us want that!
Wow, not a family friendly library, I can see. I agree with all the commentors, I have had the screaming and flailing kid, while I was trying to finish grocery shopping, and I have heard people say, you should just leave you cart, take your kid, and go home. NO WAY. Then I have to go back and start over from the beginning and have my kid scream again! At least it makes us more understanding when we see other mothers in similar situations.
Post a Comment