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"Education is not the filling of a pail, but the lighting of a fire."— William Butler Yeats
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Monday, July 8, 2013

Hoping for Inspiration

I changed my blog.  It about did me in, but I did it (thanks a million for changing your html, Blogger - not!).  And now I am hoping it will inspire me to visit more and write more.

I deactivated my Facebook account with the intention of letting it lapse into complete deletion.  I am enjoying not having Facebook anymore, though I wrestle with myself a little bit over it.  I don't miss the wasted time, but I do miss the interactions with friends.  I don't miss constantly comparing myself to everyone else's bravo moments, but I do miss being inspired at times by those very same moments.  I don't miss the bickering.  I am opinionated and I am passionate, but I am trying to be less abrasive and more compassionate.  Facebook does not lend itself very well to this new goal of mine.

The very best thing about kicking Facebook to the curb has been this beautiful movement inward.  It's like I am closing the windows so I can stop staring at my neighbors and focus instead on what's going on right inside my own home.  It is so lovely, I can hardly explain it.  It has also resulted in us finally getting to know our real neighbors.  We've lived here for six years and only know a handful of people on our street.  Terrible, I know.  But we are finally having BBQ's and stopping to chat with neighbors out for a walk, etc.  It feels so wonderful and so real.  I love it.  I think the things I love here and now outweigh the things I miss online.

So, there I am.  I am deactivated, soon to be deleted, missing it, but not really missing it.  It doesn't get much more confusing than that.

I did keep my Instagram account, though.  I booted most of my followers so that I can "overgram" to my heart's content and not feel guilty about clogging up everyone's feeds with my storytelling approach to photography.

Here are a few things I've been jotting down in my phone.
  • Conversation with Karsten (3): 
K - "I wish we could fly like birds."
M(om) - "Me too!  You know how people fly?  In airplanes!"
K - "No, maybe we should buy some wings at the store and fly like birds!"
M - "That would be cool, but I don't think we can."
K - "Why?"
M - "Well, because nobody sells bird wings for people to use."
K - "Oh."
K - "We could borrow the wings from the birds and fly!"
M - "Huh, well, do you think that might hurt the birds if we take their wings?"
K - "We could just take them slowly and caaaaarefully."
M - "Well, we are going to have to find some reeeeeeally big birds with reeeeeeeally big wings for them to work for us.  People are big!"
K - "No, only the boys and me can fly. And not you and not Dad." 
I wish I could somehow cement in my mind the tone of voice he used to carry on this conversation.  It was so serious.  He was contemplative and totally problem solving and melting me all over with his adorable toddler voice.  I love him.
  • Karsten says "pursh" for push and "fer" is for.  "What's that fer, Mom?"  It's so pronounced, it's hilarious.
  • Anders declared at dinner the other night that he wanted some "Yoga Mate" like Dad.  Dad drinks Yerba Mate.  Wah - wah - wah.
  • The other day, Karsten was noticing that the light was waxing and waning because of scattered cloud cover. At the impending approach of one certain shady patch, Karsten yelled with gusto, "I think the clouds are dissingappear!"
  • At our neighborhood Independence Day BBQ, our awesome neighbor, Debbie, scooted over to us and, to introduce some juicy, scandalous, local bit of news, muttered, "Don't make me have to want to gossip."  Oh but we did laugh and laugh over that one.  I don't think we ever did hear what she intended to tell us, thankfully, but Dan and I got such a kick out of her very "I-take-no-responsibility-for-this" statement.
And because I love pictures, here are a few for your enjoyment.  All from my iPhone.

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Sunday, June 23, 2013

Whiteboard Cleanse


You know you're busy when you only blog to clear up space on your whiteboard that you've jotted down notes for future blogging on.

Yeah, that sentence confuses me, too.

I want to erase my whiteboard but need to record what's on there first.

Much better.

Here are the things that Oskar will double-time-it for:
~ the open dishwasher
~ the open door to our garage
~ the open fridge
~ the open bathroom doors
~ the open door to my computer tower
~ the open backyard door

Also, whenever Oskar falls while walking, he stays in Down Dog position to peer through his legs for a bit before wandering off to his next great adventure.  It cracks me up every time he does it and prompts me to wonder at his fascination with that crazy, upside down world trailing along behind him everywhere he goes.

Karsten . . .
~ loves taking cod liver oil
~ says "dangit" even when he's happy about something (i.e. "this is SO AWESOME, dangit!")
~ he calls the living room the "viv room"
~ whenever he plays with our old, battery-challenged iPhones he has to go in search of what he calls a "plugger" to charge them up.
~ he says "absatootally" because I always say "absatively posolutely."  I love it.
~ a wand is a "lawnd"
~ the baby's white noise machine is the "why sheen"
~ back when we had a bee swarm investigating our stove vent and I was having to haul bees out of the kitchen and into the backyard every few minutes, Karsten exasperatingly declared the experience to be "SO frustrating!"
~ once when we drove with all the windows down, Karsten threw his hands in the air, giddily challenging the oncoming wind tunnel and exclaiming excitedly, "This is WONDERFUL!"

Karsten lights up my life daily.  I am constantly chuckling at his antics and shaking my head at his goofiness.  I adore him, this Mr. Independent.  This child and his zest for life are an inspiration.  ♪ ♫ He has music in his veins ♫ ♪ ♪ ♫ :)

Of course, that same zest is applied with equal exertion to both good and bad behavior, this latter being accompanied by high pitched screaming and prolonged tantrums.  It's extremely tiring if I fail to avert it before it becomes full blown.  But, I wouldn't have him any other way.  I love him.

I can't believe Oskar is already walking and Karsten is turning three this week.  Life is going WAY too fast.  But it's happy and productive and I love these little guys more than I ever could have imagined it was possible to love little people.

On the big kid front, Anders is reading and his reading improves almost daily.  He is an absolute testament to me that children will learn best when THEY want to.  Soren was reading at age three without instruction from us.  We just spent a lot of time singing the alphabet and reading alphabet books and such.  He picked it up himself from there.  Luckily, I was already embracing certain unschooling philosophies when Anders arrived at the "age of reading," because I didn't push him at all.  I would play reading games with him and suggest reading, but for the most part his reading skills have come wholly from his desire to develop them.  While Soren's reading skills came happily and insatiably at age three, I'm happy that Anders' reading skills arrived in the same manner, if not the same time.

I want my children to love learning.  That is key.

So Anders is reading, and writing daily in his journal, and has started on the Teaching Textbooks third grade math program that Soren just finished a few months ago.  Anders has been asking to do TT for a while now. I don't think he's quite at that level, but so far he's only been missing questions about months and days of the week.  He understands the math concepts perfectly.  He is a bright boy.

Anders will also do just about anything each day in order to earn time on the computer playing Poptropica on Fun Brain.  He loves that game.  He and Soren both do.  But Anders is much more willing and eager to work for his game time.  He will ask me first thing each morning what he needs to do before he can play and I will tell him "learning and chores."  He dives right into math, reading, and writing, then asks "What next?"  I love his attitude and hope the eagerness will stay for a long while yet.

Soren is not so eager to work these days.  He will do his learning and chores if the incentive is attractive enough, but he wants to do things in his own time (he is a methodical and pensive child) which sometimes creates scheduling issues.  He'll dilly dally his way through his daily requirements, being easily distracted by sibling commotions, day dreaming, and personal projects, only to lose it when I tell him there is no longer time in the day to allow him his reward.  He is learning the hard way that time marches inexorably onward; it waits for no man.  I am constantly repeating the mantra to him: work first, play later.  When he does apply himself, it's amazing how much free time he ends up with, the trick is helping him to remember this.

Soren is also one of the sweetest, most wonderful and sensitive kids I know.  He is so tender with his little brothers.  Just the other day he made Karsten a Lego dollhouse type thingy out of a shoe box, spending a considerable amount of time in execution.  He plays with Oskar all the time and is constantly declaring him to be the cutest baby on the planet.  For every expression of the delay fish that I described above, there are double the expressions of service and kindness.  I love our So So.

Soren also just finished his first week-long Cub Scout day camp.  Each day this last week he was gone from 9am - 3pm.  It was strange adjusting to not having him around and I was always eager to pick him up again. It felt like our lives were on hold while he was gone, like we couldn't function properly until he was fitted back into place in our day.  I love that.  I love that it feels wrong when he's gone and right when he comes back.  He had a grand time, though, and I'm glad he was able to have the experience.  He would come back each day telling stories about activities he participated in, showing us his arts and crafts, and telling us knock knock jokes he learned from his fellow den buddies.  When we got home, he would dump his flimsy, camp-issue backpack on the ground, peel off his hat, pour the sand and grit out of his sweaty shoes, and jump into whatever his brothers were involved in before we left to pick him up.

Soren is such a great oldest child.  I couldn't ask for better.

Dan is working hard.  I am a lucky lady to have married such a hard worker and I love him for his dedication to providing for his family.  I admire him so much.

At church, Dan is the assistant ward clerk over finance.  He cuts reimbursement checks and counts tithing donations and makes a handsome addition to the clerk's office.  :)

At home, Dan is a slave.  No, just kidding.  Sort of.  But I do keep him hopping with my demands for home improvement projects and my sudden helplessness to stay on top of homemaking duties whenever he's around.  Dan is a mean diaper changer.  And by "mean," I mean stellar, superb, proficient, amazing . . . .

I am a mom.  And I love that title.  I struggle with certain aspects of all that title entails, such as cooking.  I am not a consistent cook.  I have never been in all our ten years of marriage.  I don't know why, either, and my repeated failure to consistently provide family dinners for my family is discouraging.  I know this is important for my children's development, our family health, and our family togetherness, etc, etc, etc, but this is an area that despite my knowledge and desire, I seem to be unable to break my negative cycle and habits.  I am exasperated by this.  Done.  So over it.  Would like to hire a chef . . . without breaking the bank . . . which I am already breaking by resorting to eating unhealthy restaurant food way too often.  Blah.  Must. Not. Give. Up.  Somebody give me a pep talk already, I need it!

At church I am the Primary 2nd Counselor and work primarily with the Cub Scout program, which I love.  I remember back when I was the Primary president in this ward a few years ago, I always viewed the Cub Scout program as this great, mysterious, confusing jumble of meetings (den meetings, pack meetings, committee meetings, roundtable meetings, etc.) and was grateful to have such an able counselor to take care of it all.  When I was first called to be over the Cub Scouts at the beginning of this year, I was pretty overwhelmed.  Now I love it.  I love these boys and I love to see them having fun because of the planning we do in the committee meetings.  I'm only a small part of that planning - my job is mostly to take care of Cub and leadership rosters as well as the calendar for the three wards who are combined, also providing meeting minutes for each Cub committee meeting - but I feel proud to be a part of it all nonetheless.

So much for a simple whiteboard cleanse, eh?  Oh well, this is not surprising to me.  I have always been verbose and long-winded.  :)

Now, off to reclaim that whiteboard . . . .
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Thursday, March 14, 2013

SSA Revisited

Bright and early this morning, off to the SSA we went.  As a family.  A lovely little family outing.  Fuzzy kitties and brown paper packages, warm woolen mittens (or . . . um . . . light breezy t-shirts?) and all that jazz. La-di-da.  Hi-di-ho.

We pull onto the street where the building is located and Soren shoots out of his seat frantically yelling about needing to throw up.  Dan pulls over to some bushes and Soren hurtles himself out of the car just in time to lose his stomach over some lovely, unassuming So Cal shrubs.

Two+ hours, two dead iPhone batteries, one schooled SSA official (thanks Lawyer Dan), one stir-crazy toddler, and one super fussy baby later ... Oskar is legit.  He now rests comfortably on our defunct government's radar.  But hey, at least we'll get another thousand or so back for it.  Thanks little dude, rest assured it will go toward diapers, books, clothes, education, and your future mission.  :)

Note to self for next time:

Birth certificate and blessing certificate are most definitely enough documentation (along with current parental I.D.).  Ignore objections from clueless SSA officials to the contrary.  Make them check their own website.  Apply smug gloating face when they realize they are wrong and you are right.  Chalk it up to aforementioned defunct government.  Swear to yourself for the three millionth time that you will raise children that can help rescue our poor citizenry from inane government run-around and lines and lines and waiting, waiting, waiting.

You know how Babies 'R' Us has front row parking for pregnant mothers?  Well, government agencies should offer preferred services to mothers with children in tow.  I'm just sayin'.  I think everyone would be happier, not just mom.  :)

Until next baby, SSA!  Hasta la vista.
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Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Lines, Lines, and More Lines


Crazy, crazy day today.

CR-AAA-ZY.

Oskar still doesn't have a social security number or card, so I piled up the boys to get that taken care of this morning.  Taxes, ya know?  It kind of helps if all our dependents can be recognized as such.  I called the social security number beforehand and took the time to make sure I had all the right documents.  As I was leaving my house, though, I decided to check my wallet to make sure I had my driver's license with me.  Sort of a pointless gesture since it's always, ALWAYS in my wallet.  But while checking this time, I noticed that my driver's license has been expired for ALMOST A YEAR!!

Yeah.  I'm on top of things.  Pffffth.

So, I drove on anyway, hoping I could throw my expired passport, expired driver's license, and social security card at them as proof of my maternal claim to Oskar.

No such luck.  I didn't even get far enough to take aim.  Apparently the peeps on the phone didn't give me accurate details and I was short one vital document.  Blah.  So, off to the doctor's office it was.  I had to have more proof of his identity since he was born at home.  Boo.

After the doctor we took a lunch break and then I tackled the matter of my uber-expired driver's license.  I set up an appointment for next week online, but then noticed their non-appointment wait time was pretty short.  I waited for Oskar to wake from his nap and took off for the DMV.

Ah, the DMV.


Let's just say their website was inaccurate.  BUT, it still wasn't too bad.  With my trusty iPhone to keep Karsten's rear glued to the stroller seat, we did okay.  Anders has an inability to keep his fingers off, oh, everything, but even he settled down shortly after we arrived.  It was a pleasant surprise.  But my hero-of-the-day was definitely Soren.  Soren was amazing.  He really wanted to be able to play on my phone when we got home, so he was on his best behavior the ENTIRE time.  I was so impressed.  He wasn't just obedient, he was also helpful and kind and happy.  It was awesome.  He even held Oskar for me when I had my picture taken for my new driver's license.  What a little stud.  I love him.  And I so appreciated his help today.

Social security office
Doctor's office
DMV

I know some of you awesome moms out there do more than this in one day.  Go more places.  Dropping off, picking up.  But it's not me. I'm a homebody. If I plan an outing, I plan ONE outing that usually only lasts for ONE morning or ONE afternoon.  This bouncing all over town was nuts for me.  Too much government run-around.  Too much traffic.  Too much climbing in and out of our car, buckling and unbuckling seat belts.

And tomorrow we get to head back to the social security office, again.  This time armed with that darned doctor's transcript and Dan's current driver's license as proof of parental claim on Oskar.

Wish us luck!

....................................

One of my *favorite* moments from today?  Finding this in Oskar's diaper:


Dude's facial expression says it all.  Poor guy met his doom today since neither Soren nor I were willing to rescue him.  Bye bye, little Lego guy guy.  So grateful you didn't choke my kid.

....................................

Oh, and somewhere amidst all this craziness I also managed to drop my phone, cracking its face.  Today was just a fuzzy little kitty of a day, I tell you what.
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Thursday, January 31, 2013

Remembering Lego Club


Dan and I signed Soren and Anders up for Lego Club this past Fall. They really, really enjoyed themselves, attending about once every other week, building with Legos, getting to know the other boys and working on their project. There were only six boys altogether, so they were a pretty tight-knit group.  The theme for the First Lego League presentation was Helping Seniors (elderly, not high schoolers) OR showing change over time.  Our boys decided to show how something has changed over time and they constructed three different computers to demonstrate: a huge 1960's computer, a 1980's desktop computer, and an iPhone (arguably a computer, right?!).  :D  On January 19th, we went to Legoland for the presentations and enjoyed seeing many displays from other groups and then taking off to explore the park. Definitely good times with Lego Club.  Thank you, Ms. Amy!







This kid was SO patient, following me around as I snapped a billion pictures.  He was probably so bored.


And here are all my Instagram pics from the day:




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Monday, January 7, 2013

Soren's Baptism


Back in November our Soren Boy turned eight. Eight is a big deal in the LDS faith. Eight is the age of accountability, the point at which our sins count and the atonement matters much, much more as we work to be forgiven daily for our many shortcomings and weaknesses. Eight is when we are baptized and take upon us the name of Christ, promising to always remember Him and keep His commandments. In turn, we are recognized as an official member of His Church: The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. Also at this time we receive the Gift of the Holy Ghost, the amazing blessing the Lord has granted us to always have His Spirit with us as we sojourn here on Earth, attempting to navigate the adversary's many pitfalls.

Soren was so, SO happy to be surrounded by familiar faces on this momentous occasion.  So many people love him and we are eternally grateful for the support shown him by so many loved ones.  We had my family members from Utah, Dan's family members from Arizona and Orange County, ward family members from our church congregation here in San Diego, our wonderful neighbors from across the street, and, in a first for many of us, we were even able to plug Uncle Daniel into the program by lugging in a laptop and revving up Skype.  It was so neat to have him there even though he was actually half way across the world and 10 or so hours ahead of us!

The day was beautiful and the Spirit was strong.  I was scooting around happily snapping pictures and staring, mystified, at my first-born all grown up.  I can't believe I have an eight-year-old!  Dan and I are so extremely proud of Soren for choosing to become a member of the Lord's Church and embark on the greatest adventure of service and love he will ever have on this earth.  And I am so eternally grateful for Dan's worthiness to hold the priesthood of the Lord and the respect he shows for this wonderful power.

We are so blessed.  So, so very blessed.  My heart is full as I write and think back on that day all wrapped up and packaged in love and joy.

Here are the kids checking out the baptismal font.



I love this sequence purely because of what Oskar is doing to Anders.  Ha ha ha!


Soren and Daddy sharing a laugh over something.

Uncle Daniel looking on from the laptop.

Hi, Uncle Daniel! (He even dressed up for the occasion - how sweet is that?!)

Our neighbors, Glen and Debbie, on the left.  Cranes and Allens (friends) behind.  Grandpa Ogden.
Lots of people love our SoSo!

Daddy and [some of] his boys.  Karsten was wandering who-knows-where.

I love, LOVE this picture.  We are not allowed to take pictures of the actual baptism out of respect for the sacred nature of the ceremony, but I was able to snap this last picture of Soren and his Daddy entering the baptismal font before I sat down.  I love that we have this tradition of inviting the children present to gather in front of the glass to witness the baptism of their friend.  This picture is so full of awe and wonder and love.
We love you, Soren, and we are so impressed with your testimony of our Savior, Jesus Christ.  You are a strong force for good in this world that is desperate for good.  You shine so brightly and evil and darkness shrink before you.  You are an obedient son, a tender and loving brother, and a sensitive friend.  We are so proud of you.

Love, Mom and Dad

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