Tuesday, June 24, 2008
From "the desk" at NBC Nightly News, we interrupt your regularly scheduled blog to bring you this breaking news bulletin. Apparently the beloved mentor and role model, one Mr. The King, from the Pixar movie "Cars," isn't as charming and personable as he made himself out to be on the big screen. In fact, he actually has a very quick temper and is quite abusive. We have proof out of California where a Mrs. Bagel from The Bagel Factory is claiming that her one and a half year old toddler was struck by Mr. The King above his right eye and she has submitted a photo for use at our discretion.
The lad seems to be fine, though there is some question of temporary brain damage as a result of the unprovoked attack. The growing concern stems from his propensity to prefer wearing his shoes backward now, choose classic adult literature over popular children's programming on the television, and display rather alarming and rapidly degenerating table manners.
We have also been notified that Mr. The King wasn't working alone. He was propelled into this vicious act of violence by the victim's older, mischievous, territorial brother who feels quite put out that his good name is now being descried and plastered all over the Internet, revealing him for the rogue he is. We tried to interview the boy about the infamous event, but all we got was the silent treatment as he hid behind his weapons.
We are also happy to inform you that despite the few questionable, and hopefully temporary, effects of the attack, the victim is now returning to his normal schedule of rest and terrorization.