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Monday, June 16, 2008

The Truth About Me

For some time now, I've been pondering on the world of blogging and how accurate it really is. Or rather, how accurate our presentations of ourselves really are. You see, many times I find myself envying a friend who is so talented in this or that way, or another who is so patient, or another who is a culinary master, or the one who is all three combined...and caring for three + children...and involved in the community...and fulfilling a church calling...and still finding time to exercise and look perfectly beautiful...and really crafty/homemakery...and always taking notes in Relief Society...and the list could go on and on. I'm constantly admiring people for what they lay out on the blog table, but am I getting the whole picture? Is it too easy to pick and choose the best parts of ourselves for the world to see and is this perpetuating an impossibly unattainable definition of what makes a good wife and mother?

Recently, a friend told The Chief that she enjoys reading our blog and thinks I'm superwoman. That drew the line for me. I'm no superwoman, but I sure can make myself sound like one on our blog. So, at the risk of losing all my admirers, I'll go ahead and spill the beans, reveal the true me. Right this instant, I've been at the computer for about three hours while my kids have been playing (and intermittently begging me to pay attention to them and get them drinks of milk). This is a ritual for me. I'm addicted to the computer. My house is a complete mess. In fact, just this morning I informed The Chief that I'm contemplating hiring a cleaning service for a day, just so that I can stay on the computer and not have to face the growing mess. Sometimes I go to bed without brushing my teeth. I don't cook...ever. Okay, I cook once every two months and when I do, I take pictures and post it on the blog so you all think I'm a regular in the kitchen. We eat out a lot because of my lack of inspiration in the kitchen. I don't exercise, because that would take me away from my precious computer. All that weight I lost a year ago...yeah, it's back. I'm kind of reclusive. I need my friends to invite themselves over to my house or I never see anyone. I yell at my kids on occasion...usually when I don't get enough sleep...which happens often because I love the computer. You see the vicious cycle? I'm not the most patient person. At times I treat strangers better than I treat my own family. I could eat breakfast all day long every day. I have a black thumb. All those garden pictures...yeah, Mary is the green thumb and I'm just the beneficiary. I am an excuse-maker, a procrastinator, and a forgeter. I don't always say my prayers. Sometimes I just flop into bed, tuck the covers under my chin, and in a very unholy way, remind Heavenly Father that he already knows about my entire day and my feelings about my entire day, so I'll talk to him later (I know, I know, I'm terrible...that's kind of the point...I'm not perfect).

Now, even though this post is about coming clean, I can truthfully say that I'm not all bad. I am a very loyal and trustworthy person. I don't like gossip. I'm very nice because I'm a people pleaser. Between you and me, I'll always pick you to be happy over me. I love to laugh and feel like I have a pretty good sense of humor myself. I adore my boys, even though they get on my nerves sometimes. I'm pretty smart and can participate in and contribute to a lively conversation. I love my body despite my fluctuating weight, and I don't think that's something that many girls these days can say. I appreciate it for all it's gone through. Sure, I'd like to be skinnier, but I know I'll get to be beautiful again after I die and it's not the most important thing on the earth, so I don't waste my time worrying about it. I have a strong testimony of the gospel of Jesus Christ and I know that despite all my flaws, my Heavenly Father loves me (sometimes I like to think He even gets a kick out of some of my flaws).

So, in summary. I think I'm so much cooler online. And here's my theme song. Some of you may have heard it already. It's sooooooo funny!! Just click the little play button.

Now I'm going to sign off the computer and go try to show my kids how much I love them by playing with them and getting them that milk they've been asking for. Maybe I'll even muster up enough drive to clean the house...and then I'll pay myself. :) Please remember to take everything I post with a grain of salt. The girl behind the post is a deeply flawed human being with a few very nice strengths.


Erin said...

liz, i love this post. it is so easy to compare the worst of ourselves with the best of others. thanks for the reality check.

but for what it's worth, i still think you are a total saint for all the help you've been to our family!!! and i know you are a really great mom to your cute, smart, secure, happy boys.

scott and megan said...

I love the real you!

Anonymous said...

Make a note that you and your Dad should talk for a few minutes at the family reunion about three items:

(1) Computer
(2) Kitchen
(3) Weight

What fun that will be! - DKO

Heather said...

We all still think you are still just as stinking great:) Of course everyone has flaws but we love you for all the wonderful things that are you!!!

Jen said...

Seriously, even when you are trying to admit your flaws, we all love you more for it. I am constantly inspired by the amazing pictures you take and for your captivating stories you tell. Thanks for the reveal-all post . . . love it!

Melissa said...

That was a fabulous post and you are right, people aren't always themselves on blogs. All they want to do is brag about all the good and bypass all the negative- what is wrong with that? Ok maybe most need a reality check. That is why Brandon HATES blogs because he says all we do is act fake and Brag brag brag, but it is fun to talk about ourselves. I don't think you brag at all (I hope I don't either) With your photo skills you SHOULD brag more. And I love how we can ignore our kids. Have you heard of Twitter? Just one more thing for internet obsessed people. I'm going to do a post about it in a few days if you don't discover it sooner.

Jennica said...

Ha ha ha ha Liz...I'm glad somebody else in this world is flawed.

Mom and Dad said...

Play on the computer after the work is done. Love Mom

Marilee said...

You may not be perfect, Liz, (hey, who is?) but you are still pretty amazing and I love ya! Thanks for a fun post!

ScottnLisa said...

hahaha Oh Liz, don't you know that being able to RECOGNIZE your flaws makes you better that most people out there? Serously, I love you. I pray all the time for help recognizing my weaknesses so that I can overcome them. My list would be twice as long as yours if I were to write all mine down. For starters I'm extremely arrogant, stubborn, and difficult. I have a short fuse and when I loose my temper I can clear a room. That's one of the reasons why I'm so in love with my husband...because he's not afraid of me when I loose my temper. hahaha! lol. Be grateful your not a raging bull like me. (:

Teagan said...

ok so...I hear all about you and I see your comments on my mom and brothers blog...and I thought, I should go and check her out. This was such a PREFECT first post to come in on. I absolutely LOVE IT, can I just tell you that I was shaking my head totally relating to you though the whole thing.
and it is so true, I think, well I hope that I don't get the full picture of everyones lives on there blog b/c then I would feel very depressed about my life and what I do or don't do.
Thank you for this post...it was great to read!!
ps-love the song!!:)

Teagan said...

hey me again...Melissa above comment were she said that her husband hate blogs "b/c he says all we do is act fake and Brag brag brag" That sound JUST LIKE MY HUSBAND. HA!! I just had to comment... I dont know you but I think our husbands would get along.

Brett & Kristin said...

Amen to that! That has to be one of the greatest posts I've read!! It is sooo true how life just looks so picture perfect in blogs! That just made me laugh - You are great!

LeAnn said...

what a fun post! I kept thinking as I read your post and tried to ignore Roman's requests for ANOTHER piece of toast how easily those could have been my words. LOL
I think we don't want to share all the worst parts of our lives and only the best and most exciting but I think that's natural. You just have to remember that in order to put all that wonderful information on their blog, they had to ignore their children and spend at least an hour on the computer as well :) They didn't do it while playing candy land with the kids, curling their perfect hair and preparing dinner (or they did and now dinner and maybe their hair is burned)
I am always thinking as I read other peoples blogs how boring my life is and how on earth do they have this much time, energy, money etc. But I would like to think that they are thinking the same thing when they read my blog. :)

Kari said...

Oh Liz, I think I could have written that post lol. I have the same problem with the computer and the lack of cleaning. In fact I was thinking about calling a maid service this week too! That just made me laugh. I think my whole kitchen is covered in a thin layer of powdered sugar, everything is sticky!

Scott & Karin said...

Don't worry, Liz, you never fooled me! I know what kind of person you really are! He he he! I love that you love your body! Because I love mine too! No matter what weight I'm at! It's mostly been since I've had kids. The stretch marks are battle scars and I am so proud to be a mom!

Daniel said...

Well I think you're great Lizzie, even if you do have more flaws than I do. :) Haaaaa!

Just keep on blogging. Everybody likes it. Soren and Anders are big boys now. They can take care of themselves.......change their own diapers and all. :)

Can't wait to see you!

Brooklet said...

I hands down like the posts best where we admit to our flaws- just because it makes us human. And I think motherhood is a learning experience- we don't get everthing right from the beginning. We learn our strengths slowly, and we deal with our weaknesses constantly. Great post.

She-She said...

I just love you! You are the coolest person I know I've decided!
You take amazing pictures!! You wouldn't happen to be willing to come to Utah around the beginning of November to take new family pictures of us, would ya? Hehe...

Keep being you... we love it!

PS I was sitting a few rows behind you at church and I didn't hear Soren say anything. Even if others did, he's so cute... it wouldn't matter!!

Jolene said...

I love this post too. I have never felt like you are trying to boast about yourself at all. But I have about other bloggers. They are totally different in their blog writing and posts then they are in real life. Its almost like they post about who they wish they were or want to be. The blogging world is a funny place. Isn't it? Thanks for keeping it real.

Lori said...

I still think you're superwoman! Even more so now... ;)

Wirthfam said...

I love this post Liz! I hope you don't mind I'm posting a link to it on my blog. :)

Alicia said...

You are an awesome writer. I have to say I fall into the same trap for admiring other and feeling bad about my self because I don't measure up! Thanks for sharing those thought!

Liz said...

Thanks everybody. I'm glad to know that I still have a few friends after bearing all. :)

Erin - I'm not a saint. Joseph is too cute to pass up and besides, he keeps my boys busy. :)

Dad - Am I in trouble?

Melissa - I tried Twitter...wasn't a fan. I'm not creative enough to come up with witty one-liners and my life is not varied enough to be exciting to read in real-time. I do enjoy my friend's Twitterings, though. :)

Mom - Thanks for the solution. I'll work on that.

Lisa I. - A raging bull? I would have never thought! Actually, I can see the feistiness in you. :) It makes you a fun person to be around!

Teagan - Welcome! I hope you come back often. I love your brothers. And your mom! Your girls are beautiful. Oh, and I can't relate to the husband-hating-the-blog thing because Dan checks our blog often. He appreciates it because it allows him to see his kids during the day when he's at work. I'm glad that he appreciates it because then I feel less guilty about spending so much time updating it so often. Hmmm...interesting circle there.

Kristin - I live to make people laugh! I'm glad it works on somebody. :)

Leann - I love reading your blog posts. You are a creative writer...very entertaining and engaging. It's a talent!

Karin - Dang it! I knew I'd never fool you! :) I'm glad you love your body, too. You're right, those stretch marks are battle scars and well worth cherishing...while trying to get rid of, of course. :)

Staci - I love taking pictures whenever I get the chance! Who knows, maybe we'll come for Thanksgiving and I could take some shots of your new little addition?! That would be awesome. Where in Utah are you moving?

Lori - Ha ha ha! Just keep reading for a while...you haven't been here (on The Bagel Factory) often enough if you still think that. :) Thanks though. I think you must be my #1 fan! :)

Wendy - Post away. I'm honored to be shared and I'm grateful that people can relate to me. It makes me feel not so alone and inadequate.

I love you all, my friends! It's because of you that I get excited to write. Keep sharing your thoughts with me...they inspire me.

Jacqui said...

Liz, you rock! I needed that post this week. Thanks for bearing it all and reminding us that it's okay to be human and have short comings. It's what we do with that knowledge that really counts! Thanks for being such a great inspiration ... You're awesome! :)

Freckles said...

Hallelujah! Thanks for sharing, I totally agree. We naturally only put our best self forward on our blogs because it is so hard to admit our faults, but it is refreshing to hear from a real person! I think you're great, flaws and all.

Sister Jenny Hansen said...

Liz, I was a sister missionary in Jake and Wendy's ward many months ago, I was reading her blog at which point she directed hers to yours. July Ensign Elder Ballard encourages us to share the gospel through blogs and the media of the internet. Even though you did not use scriptural references to denote your truth, I felt it, in the way you wrote and the reality you were striving for. Thank you for sharing that- I want to pass it on to everyone I know because I felt it said everything I was thinking. thanks for allowing your thoughts and words help others progress through all types of validation we receive in life, you have written a balance that combines your loyalty to the Lord and the realness of trying harder everyday. Its a sign of a healthy conscience! Thank you

Becky said...

I found your blog through Jenny Hansen's. Don't you love blog stalking? I do. I really liked your post, and I might just have to steal the idea one of these days, if I ever dare to "bear all" to all my readers! Thanks for reminding us that none of us are supposed to be perfect.