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Monday, June 11, 2007

Toddlers, Tantrums, Hugs, and Brothers

So, things have been tough for me recently with Buddha really throwing himself into the typical toddler trauma. We seem to butt heads all the time lately as he is exerting his independence in the most infuriating, trying ways. He wants to do everything himself, even if that means taking an extra 20 minutes rather than 3. He wants to know everything I'm doing at every single moment of the day, and not just know, but watch and participate. I'm beginning to think that toddlers don't learn privacy as a result of their parents' embarrassment as their kids get older; rather, I believe it comes from a child's parents needing to have 2 seconds by themselves and the only way to do that is to lock themselves in the bathroom! "Mommy, what you doing in there?" "Just going potty, Love." Yeah right! :) So, Buddha wants to do everything himself, he wants to be my shadow, and I swear he must be going deaf since I have to repeat myself three billion times a day (and we wonder where kids learn to exaggerate). :) The only word I can remember saying each day, consistently, is "No!" How pathetic is that?! I've decided I'm a terrible mom. I've caught myself shooting Buddha crusties when he's misbehaving, and I get upset with him when he hurts himself because it happens when he's doing something stupid like trying to surf on the tall breakfast bar stools. Duh! I need to remind myself that he's only two and a half years old, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I forget that and expect him to know better. And the last, but definitely most trying, is his incessant chattering. I used to think that Buddha's talking was cute, and I still do...occasionally. But now, he talks non-stop, all day long and it's so so so so so difficult for me because he doesn't just want to talk, he wants to be listened to all day long. And since that's what he wants, he is very, very, very persistent in his demands for attention from me. I am a mellow, low-key, sit-quietly-and-read-a-book type of person (and up until recently, Buddha was also), so this particular trial is especially trying for me. He needs an imaginary friend to talk to. :) j/k! So, now that I've vented about Buddha's new-found "terrible twos" stage, let me tell you the great things that have come with it....

These pictures represent a very changed (and still changing) little boy. When Bugga was first born, Buddha was very protective of him, but not very demonstrative toward him. He always wanted to know where Bugga was, but he didn't want to hold him, or give him kisses, or even touch him for that matter. When Bugga would spit up or drool, Buddha would freak out and tell me to "WIPE IT!" Now, however, when Bugga wakes up from his nap and Buddha hears him talking, he'll jump up and say, "Go get Bugga, Mommy, I love him. I love his little tummy." He likes to pat Bugga and play with him, and today he spent a good portion of the day trapping Bugga under the laundry basket and laughing hysterically over it. Bugga tolerated his imprisonment very well.

Buddha is also becoming much more demonstrative with Mommy and Daddy. He likes to give me hugs now because...well, I'll give it to you in his words, "I like your fuzzy shirt, Mommy, I need a hug." His innocence and meekness put me to shame, especially when he tells me that I'm not being nice. Buddha has had to send me to the naughty spot a couple of times in the last week. Geez, he certainly learns faster than I do! :) He's always asking where The Chief is - it's practically the first thing out of his mouth when he wakes up in the morning, "Where's Daddy?" This morning I told him that Daddy was at class and Buddha solemnly corrected me, "No, he's at school studying for a bar!" It's amazing to me what he can pick up and comprehend when it's only been talked about in passing. Oh, today as I was making bread, Buddha climbed up on one of our kitchen stools and said, "Let's talk, Mommy." I said, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?" He replied, "Google Talk" (this is a downloaded program which allows us to talk to anyone, anywhere via the Internet). I got a big kick out of that. We like to get on there and talk to Granny and Grandpa in Guatemala.

So, what have I learned this past week? I'll never again think that I've escaped "terrible twos," and I'll probably struggle for a while here as I learn patience, but at the end of the day, I still love and adore my little family! They are my life, my light, my happiness, my laughter, and my joy. And all these negatives each day are just tiny pinpricks compared to the love I have for my little ones (and my big one, of course). :)

Well, it's late and no matter how frantically I type, my brain is shutting down faster. :) I've written this post at the peril of sounding like the best candidate for "Worst Mom of the Year," but I hope you can read past my ranting and see that I'm learning right along with my children. I have a plan to give Buddha more one-on-one time with Mommy and hopefully that will help to satisfy his need for attention from me. He needs to know that I love him and the best way for me to show him that is to spend time with him, I think. Well friends, if I've forgotten anything, I'm not so sure I'll remember it later, but if I do, I'll add it in another installment. Toodle-oo.

12 comments:

Daniel said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Daniel said...

Well Lizzie, thank you for giving me another reason to stay single. :) Just kidding. I love your boys too! I would be more than happy to entertain them....until they get fussy. You're an awesome Mom! Just think, if you have eight more of those little ones you can sit back and watch as they play with each other and chat each other's ears off.

Jolene said...

I think we all feel like a bad mom some days. I think Heidi and Soren need to get together. Heidi is talking none stop too. And I am not a talkative person, so it has been hard for me to make my self talk. And I have heard and am now experiencing (with Heidi now 3 1/2) that three year olds are worse than the so called terrible twos.
:)

Brooklet said...

Just remember, its a phase- Claire would go through a tough week and then be an angel the next. Every mom goes through the same emotions you are. In fact, I didn't know how short patienced I was until Claire was 2 1/2. But the harder they get, the darn cuter they get- and they make you laugh and love them more each day (most days!!).

Marcia said...

We need to live closer to each other as families. If you and Sara would stay in Utah Soren would have more children to play with and I could take care of him, too. They just need more people in their lives so moms don't get so weary from doing it all. Jerusalem nearly killed me. I was ALONE with four of you. Actually four was not bad, it was the first two that was hard. They were too young to entertain themselves. You four were quite a pack, a team. Sara ruled the roost and kept you play-acting, dressing dolls, dressing the boys etc.

Lisa/Scott said...

In a sick way, it's pretty comforting to know that I'm not the only one who feels like whacking my head with plywood over and over because it would be easier than hear my kid screaming...last week she really embarassed me at a restaraunt. That being said, that molar finally broke through and she's back to being a perfect adorable angel. I'm learning if I can just grit my teeth and wait it out, that she will graduate to a more tolerable phase sooner or later. She and I were chasing eachother and playing hide and seek at target yesterday and it was so much fun, I hadn't laughed that hard for a while. Liz, I said it before and I'll say it again. I think you're a wonderful mother, and you're an example to me. (: My biggest parenting worry right now is how I'm going to handle her for 5 hours on a plane this weekend....if you have any suggestions let me know. haha!

Liz said...

Oh my gosh, Lisa, good luck! :) We flew with Soren when he was young. I got a bunch of toys for him, but he ended up just being enthralled with everything around him on the plane and just sat there watching the little TV's (it was JetBlue) the whole time. Thanks for thinking I'm a good mom. It's nice to know that I'm at least pulling off the appearance of it. :)

Mom, I think you're right. We do need to have family around! So, that being said, you and Dad can sell your house to the renters and move to San Diego! :) It's nice to know that things get better with more kids to entertain each other. Like Daniel said, I just need eight more so they can keep each other busy! :) Oh man, even the thought of more right now makes me want to weep.

Marcia said...

I heard someone say, "Build the relationship, not the conflict.

Sara said...

Hey, Elizabeth, I have a great suggestion for you- get a couple dogs and cats, and then Soren and Anders can watch them fight...it'll keep 'em entertained for hours, I promise. :) Not sure how much you and Dan would like that though. Yeah mom, move to San Diego! Buy a big chunk of land, and all of us can build houses on separate corners of it, and meet in the middle when our kids are driving us crazy. Hmm, wasn't that Mariannes's suggestion? So I "ruled the roost" when I was little? Awesome. Gotta tell Jarem that. Can't rule anymore. Now Ari rules us. Hey mom, explain that last comment- I don't get it.

Liz said...

Yeah, I don't get it either. Do explain. :)

Marcia said...

Elizabeth, comment from Dad:
The Lord notes in D&C 105:19 that "they should be brought thus far for a trial of their faith." I've concluded that many experiences we have in life are to try us, test us, and prove us -- to see just what we'll do, how we'll react. At one point in Chile I wrote in my journal that the mission president thing is just to see WHO WILL CRACK, to see if we can take it. Those who endure all things, all trials, challenges, however harrowing, will receive correspondingly great rewards and blessings, possibly in this life, and certainly in the worlds to come. Hang in there! The scriptures keep talking about "enduring to the end" (though some day we'll all realize there IS no end). Just keep remembering that the Book of Mormon frequently says "And it came to pass" not "it came to stay." Even the trying days of toddlers will come and go faster than you realize. Enjoy the boys! They will be boys, actually, for such a brief, fleeting moment.
Love, Dad

Liz said...

Thanks for the inspirational and motivational thoughts, Dad! They were much needed. I guess I just need a reminder every now and then that this is my life, I chose it, and the tough times will pass quickly allowing me to remember only the good times (since I have such a terrible memory). :) I like that, "and it came to pass," not, "and it came to stay." What a great point!