Toddlers, Tantrums, Hugs, and Brothers

So, things have been tough for me recently with Buddha really throwing himself into the typical toddler trauma. We seem to butt heads all the time lately as he is exerting his independence in the most infuriating, trying ways. He wants to do everything himself, even if that means taking an extra 20 minutes rather than 3. He wants to know everything I'm doing at every single moment of the day, and not just know, but watch and participate. I'm beginning to think that toddlers don't learn privacy as a result of their parents' embarrassment as their kids get older; rather, I believe it comes from a child's parents needing to have 2 seconds by themselves and the only way to do that is to lock themselves in the bathroom! "Mommy, what you doing in there?" "Just going potty, Love." Yeah right! :) So, Buddha wants to do everything himself, he wants to be my shadow, and I swear he must be going deaf since I have to repeat myself three billion times a day (and we wonder where kids learn to exaggerate). :) The only word I can remember saying each day, consistently, is "No!" How pathetic is that?! I've decided I'm a terrible mom. I've caught myself shooting Buddha crusties when he's misbehaving, and I get upset with him when he hurts himself because it happens when he's doing something stupid like trying to surf on the tall breakfast bar stools. Duh! I need to remind myself that he's only two and a half years old, but sometimes, in the heat of the moment, I forget that and expect him to know better. And the last, but definitely most trying, is his incessant chattering. I used to think that Buddha's talking was cute, and I still do...occasionally. But now, he talks non-stop, all day long and it's so so so so so difficult for me because he doesn't just want to talk, he wants to be listened to all day long. And since that's what he wants, he is very, very, very persistent in his demands for attention from me. I am a mellow, low-key, sit-quietly-and-read-a-book type of person (and up until recently, Buddha was also), so this particular trial is especially trying for me. He needs an imaginary friend to talk to. :) j/k! So, now that I've vented about Buddha's new-found "terrible twos" stage, let me tell you the great things that have come with it....

These pictures represent a very changed (and still changing) little boy. When Bugga was first born, Buddha was very protective of him, but not very demonstrative toward him. He always wanted to know where Bugga was, but he didn't want to hold him, or give him kisses, or even touch him for that matter. When Bugga would spit up or drool, Buddha would freak out and tell me to "WIPE IT!" Now, however, when Bugga wakes up from his nap and Buddha hears him talking, he'll jump up and say, "Go get Bugga, Mommy, I love him. I love his little tummy." He likes to pat Bugga and play with him, and today he spent a good portion of the day trapping Bugga under the laundry basket and laughing hysterically over it. Bugga tolerated his imprisonment very well.

Buddha is also becoming much more demonstrative with Mommy and Daddy. He likes to give me hugs now because...well, I'll give it to you in his words, "I like your fuzzy shirt, Mommy, I need a hug." His innocence and meekness put me to shame, especially when he tells me that I'm not being nice. Buddha has had to send me to the naughty spot a couple of times in the last week. Geez, he certainly learns faster than I do! :) He's always asking where The Chief is - it's practically the first thing out of his mouth when he wakes up in the morning, "Where's Daddy?" This morning I told him that Daddy was at class and Buddha solemnly corrected me, "No, he's at school studying for a bar!" It's amazing to me what he can pick up and comprehend when it's only been talked about in passing. Oh, today as I was making bread, Buddha climbed up on one of our kitchen stools and said, "Let's talk, Mommy." I said, "Okay, what do you want to talk about?" He replied, "Google Talk" (this is a downloaded program which allows us to talk to anyone, anywhere via the Internet). I got a big kick out of that. We like to get on there and talk to Granny and Grandpa in Guatemala.

So, what have I learned this past week? I'll never again think that I've escaped "terrible twos," and I'll probably struggle for a while here as I learn patience, but at the end of the day, I still love and adore my little family! They are my life, my light, my happiness, my laughter, and my joy. And all these negatives each day are just tiny pinpricks compared to the love I have for my little ones (and my big one, of course). :)

Well, it's late and no matter how frantically I type, my brain is shutting down faster. :) I've written this post at the peril of sounding like the best candidate for "Worst Mom of the Year," but I hope you can read past my ranting and see that I'm learning right along with my children. I have a plan to give Buddha more one-on-one time with Mommy and hopefully that will help to satisfy his need for attention from me. He needs to know that I love him and the best way for me to show him that is to spend time with him, I think. Well friends, if I've forgotten anything, I'm not so sure I'll remember it later, but if I do, I'll add it in another installment. Toodle-oo.